June 2, 2012

A Good Person

This is an attempt to give form to something that can be as abstract as art! :-P

v  Who is a good person?

     Everyone has their own way to define a good person. For me, a person with both good character and good habits is a good person. Yes, even if you have one habit that comes in my ‘bad habits’ list, I ain't gonna consider you good ‘enough’! :-P :-P Again, as I have discussed in one of my previous posts, good or bad is a relative concept. What might be good according to you might be bad according to me! My criteria may be a reflection of what I have seen while growing up, which has influenced me and that’s what I eventually grow up believing. (That’s why it is said you can mold a child the way you want to, so make sure you are giving it the right environment to grow!) :) For someone else, the definition for a good person might be totally different. :) 

v  Standing by your definition of goodness!

Once you get your definition down, then you have to stick with it wherever you go, no matter what you do. Others will always try to change your definition of ‘good’, especially when it makes them feel bad about them­selves. ;)

v  Quantifying goodness!

Talking in that manner, everyone has goodness in them. But how much? So how good should you have done/ been in life to be called a ‘good person’?
How can you be a good person?
v  Are you a good person?

That depends on your definition of a good person. All that you want to see in a person that makes him good. Do you fulfill your own set criteria of being a good person? :) If yes, then you are a good person in your own eyes! But to the world….? ;)

v  Do your actions speak louder than words?

If you are willing to give up your life to be ‘good’, then there can be no higher goal in living than being good! Others might call you a fool, but you always win when you do the right thing. You're not doing anyone any favors by being good, you're simply doing what the ‘inner you’ wants. :)

v  Goodness is INHERITED! :) – My personal take…

This is “my” theory of being a good person and I am fully convinced about it. I think it is totally totally something that is inherited. This comes with an inbuilt praise for the persons’ parent(s) depending on whether he’s inherited it from his mother or father or both! It’s in his blood. Something very obvious and natural. This is also a reflection of the family background of the person, the rich culture he is exposed to and taught about, how well he accepts it, believes it and sincerely follows it throughout his life without going astray. Regardless of his parents guiding him to do something or not, he does the right thing because he has it in him. He cannot kill his conscience and do anything that is not supposed to be done.    

v  Peer Pressure!

So many people change because of the company they have. Bad influence is all around. I don’t see any peer, pressuring you to do good stuff! :P Exceptions cannot be examples! ;)  :) Goodness is an intrinsic trait and should not be influenced EVEN if your best friend doesn’t believe in it. C’mon! Your job is not to clarify what you believe in to every person on earth! :)  

v  Following a Guru enhances your goodness! :)

It is said “Matha Pitha Guru Deivam”. First comes the mother who gives birth to the child, thereby bringing us as a child into this world. Next comes the father, because it is the mother who knows the truth about the father and she points us to the father. The mother and father then take us to the teacher (Guru), and it is the Guru, through his or her teachings, points us to God. A Guru shows you the right path and influences your thinking in a good way. Your actions, decisions, reactions etc. is influenced by your Guru’s preaching and your devotion to God. :)

v  Having a spiritual inclination.

A indulgence in spirituality influences and enhances our existing thought processes. It’s like a catalyst that increases the rate of reaction! ;) It keeps you grounded and makes you sensible. It gives you a direction in life. 

v  Being yourself; Standing alone.

Often having a concrete mindset about certain aspects might shoo away many people from your life because people love fooling around when they know they won’t get caught. Integrity is doing the right thing when you are not being watched.  As I always say, it’s better to be alone or with like- minded people than being with a bunch of orangutans who don’t understand law and order! :-P

v  Internal conflicts!

This conflict is between your body and your soul. Your eternal soul seeks permanence. It wants to do all the right things: to love humanity, seek justice, be altruistic, sensible, honorable and responsible. Your soul strives to fulfill its potential. Meanwhile, your body, which is destined for the grave, seeks satisfaction for the moment. Drawn by comfort and effortlessness, it wants to eat, to sleep, to lust. Of course, happiness is more important. But that's just the intellectual understanding of the soul. On the other hand, the body is distracted by the sight of those green stacks of bills! Bodily desire confuses our thinking. Materialism can look so attractive that we become deluded into thinking that's what we really want! Unless you make the effort to distinguish between your wants and your desires, and to clarify which aspect is influencing your actions, then you're likely to lose valuable opportunities to accomplish your goals, the baap-of-all-your-goals being to be a good person. :)

      Setting a criteria for being good or bad is very cruel thing to do in a way. :-P ;-P Opinions will differ. I'm sure all of you have your own opinion on it! What's yours?

      June 2nd, 2012


  1. As u said, opinions wl vary, my opinion is dat if u see 1 good quality in a person n c 2 bad... try 2 c d good, like him for the good n slowly learn to accept his bad habbits.. cz a person cant be absolutely good, every1 hs good n bad.. n we shud accept him for what he is... n i specially loved dis line, "exceptions can't be examples"!!! nyc work!!

    1. Yes that's good. Some bad habits cannot be accepted. It also depends on what kind of relationship it is with the person. I think there can be some relaxations on the criteria if it's a friend or an acquaintance. :)
      Thanks a lot Bro!! :)

  2. Good topic... you have described ur views about a good person in a firm way. Actually it’s a very genuine and big question ...How can we term anyone as a good person... What must be the qualities to declare anyone as GOOD? I agree with most of things that u have discussed in the post. Firstly, I loved the part where u talked about “Goodness being inherited”....True 100%...If u have good genes and ur parents have groomed u well ...u are bound to become a good person. I support ur second point as well ....No one can change u if u re mentally strong...There is a famous doha in Hindi which says “ Jo Rahim Uttam Prakriti ka kari sakat kusang chandan vish vyapat nai lipte rahe bhujang” which clearly explains if u re good ....u will remain good. Having a GURU is a personal decision, some need it, and some don’t. I completely agree with rest of ur points. According to me, a person who is proper in his behaviour, respects his parents and who is good at heart is a good person. I love people who have a positive outlook and are magical and charming, but for having these qualities u have to be good at heart. Loved ur writing as I always do. Sorry for such a long comment....all flow of emotions: P

    1. Thanks :) Yup I am highly opinionated when it comes to this! :) Good to know that you agree with me on some points! About following a Guru, it's not about needing him/ her or not. I would disagree on someone not needing a Guru. It's only a Guru who can help in the realization of the ultimate truth and hence, God. It might be a personal decision, but some decisions are life- changing! Happy to know your view about a good person! :) And, no problem! There's no word limit on the comment! :D :D

  3. Strongly agree with many points you said. Goodness is inherited, in most cases Yes! The son and the father are One. We see it almost all the time. Dad drinks -> Son drinks. Dad smokes -> Son smokes. Dad believes in something -> Son also believes in the same.. But again as you said Goodness is also relative. Only w.r.t human perspective i.e one who drinks doesn't find it wrong or a terrorist thinks he is fighting for Jihad/God.

    Nevertheless, W.r.t to the absolute i.e God, goodness is predefined by a set of rules which of course man can always choose not to believe in.

    Another good point, the importance of Guru. People without a preceptor are lost in the ocean of existence. All scriptures emphasize that noone can reach realize the ultimate truth without a Guru.

    Like I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, Goodness is intrinsic to spirituality.

    Nice write up DM :)


  4. A thought provoking article. Forces the reader to introspect.

  5. great writing, good thinking. children inherit the qualities from their parents only. good character is a boon to the child. god bless u.

  6. 1.good or bad is based on perception or collective thinking :) and 0.99% realization of self for good and -0.99% for bad.
    2.It is the future "time" to decide . everyone appear good , act , deceive until a time we often forget the classification and start njoying them ....
    3. on his past "time" u take the history of a person u know wat he/she is ..
    4. always remember it is only in a difference of time between a good \ bad person today and tomarrow .everyone is in someway bad , good and it cycles with everyone , every single minute and second too .
    5.a person is born good then he dies good none can change from good to bad or bad to good in between if they say they have changed , they are good at lying no matter wat they do they retain things that retard their change till end :) good or bad qualities mingle with blood of a person rite from birth !

    1. Appearing good is a different thing and 'being' actually good is a different thing! I think a lot has to do with the bringing up and as I said what he/ she inherits. Other than that, see, we all are adults, ultimately we do what we want to do. It would be good if we do what we ought to do, than what we want to do. Again there's a difference between want and desire! :)Thanks for your time and comment! :) Good day!

  7. This is actually an excellent topic for debate. It is very true that your associations play a major role in defining who you are. I completely agree that a person can be judged based on their friends circle. Good virtues are inherited, very true. In my definition, a good person is someone who doesn't harm others in anyway. Their personal bad habits do not imply that they are not good people. Ultimately, any person's supreme goal in life should be, to be a good person, very well said! :)